Since the last 6 months or so, my life has really come far, disappeared have the days of me working and all of my wages go straight towards the upkeep my flat, not even having the money nor the time to go out and see my friends, and not going out meaning that I eventually became a bore. The many shameful photos of me tagged by the people I regularly go out with tell a different story, but I felt like I was loosing who I really was and what I stood for in life.
I didn't like who I was, to be fair I never really have, I'm not a confident person, again photos will disagree. But I needed to change, I wasn't happy with the way I was living, working hours on end with only a few hours sleep, working days and days without ever having a day off, and for what, to pay someone around 80% of my wage the pleasure of occupying their flat as they live in the South of France while another 10% went towards the bills. It was thanks to my letting agency that helped turn this around, they sent me a letter telling me my rent was going up. Instant thought was to move out, but I had nothing. After a telephone call to my Mother it was decided that she would lend me the money needed for me to move out and I'd pay her back monthly, and within a few weeks I was out of there. Albeit I only moved across the road, but the new place is cheaper and much better. It actually feels like a home now as everything in it is mine, feels like I'm finally working towards something, all the hours I've put in and continue to put in go towards the next thing I need to buy, whether it be a new TV or bedside tables, its all mine, not rented, not borrowed, all mine.
So with this new flat, came a promotion at work. After I turned one down over a year ago I thought they'd never offer it to me again. I had to turn it down, I wasn't ready and it didn't feel right. But now it fits in with the whole me reinventing myself, and at work Ive actually never been happier. I'm still doing all the charity and PR work which is what I love doing, while at the same time moving myself up in the world. We spend on average 80% of our adult lives working so why not just enjoy it, but I'm just happy all round, at the moment my life seems in a pretty good place, give it another couple of months and I won't want it to change.
But it will, somewhere along the line, give it a few weeks or months, something will turn sour, the bubble will pop and I will be on a downhill so fast I wouldn't know what to do. People will say to me I have to stop being so negative, but sometimes you just can't help it. It's why it's called 'life' , sometimes you're happy, sometimes you're sad, it all goes together in making you a stronger and better person, so therefore I'm excited about the future and whats happening next, as whatever it is, it can only make me a better person.
Right?
Monday 5 September 2011
Monday 13 June 2011
Old faces , old places
Recently i went back to Fleetwood, the town where i was brought up in, to attend my uncles funeral. I took the whole week off work so i could spend time with my family and friends rather than just visiting for a day and coming back. Considering the circumstances though, I had a good week.
Started off me setting off Tuesdsay morning for my 4 hour train journey, I took my holdall with me as i knew that I'd come back with far more than what i left with. I arrived in the afternoon and went straight to my old place of work, it looked pritty much the same, without sounding harsh I'm quite glad i dont work there anymore.
The service the next day went ok, was quite horrible to see most of my family in tears, my uncles' best friend got up and told some stories of what they used to get up to, i just remember thinking to myself 'that's what i pritty much do now' . We all went back to his favorite pub after in Cleveleys, first thing i saw was the cocktail list, so i started making my way up the list starting with a cosmopolitan, last one on my list was something called a Bramble, had gin in it, so i thought I'd give it a miss and start the list again. No wonder my family think im an alcoholic! Later that evening, I had arranged to go back to my sisters' house with my brother and have takeaway, tell you what I aint half missed Northern prices, it was really nice to just spend time with them, plus my niece and nephew, like I live there anyways. Looking forward to when I next visit.
The next day i had arranged to go into town with my Nan, just like we used to. Even though i got drunk the night before i was up at 7am showering, singing away to Shania Twain (only because that was what was on the radio at the time ) only to realise that when i came out of the bathroom, the cleaner had been doing her duties for about half an hour. First time of meeting her bosses step son and thats what she sees!
So i went to meet the Nan, and probably like most , she loves to talk and she loves a gossip. Met up with her and we went for a brew at my old cafe, I quickly ran over to say hello to someone who works on the market , sat back down and my Nan says to me 'have you heard about what shes been up to?' My reaction... 'tell me what ive been missing Nan ;) ' . We went for a walk down the high street, and my Nan said she needed a few bits from Asda, i was like bloody hell last time I was at this Asda i set the alarms off! She asked me if i needed anything for my flat... 300 miles away, I was like it's not like i can get some frozen chips or some milk is it, so we looked around and i realised i needed some show polish, my Nan said she would treat me to some, she then asked if i needed any shower gel and i said actually i do but I'll grab some when im home, she didn't take no for an answer and I came back with 4 bottles of the stuff... Not only did I come back with half of Asda's beauty range, i also came back with some boil in the bag rice and some Cornish potatoes.After that, i went into town again with the Mother and came back with clothes and some plimsolls...
Later that day, after a nap me, my stepdad and the mother were going to a pub in Thornton as he had a pool match, I arranged to meet up with some old friends and we had a nice meal, had a really good catch-up, they said they had truely missed me which was nice to hear, one actually is based like half an hour from me which i never knew. As you do when you catch up with friends, you talk about the old times, mostly of college and what we all got up to, I miss those days, mine and Kyles outrageous flirting, ice skating, me having like 5 different coloured drinks thrown all over me then being rolled around in the mud, so after our meal we went to Mcdonalds, only for a Mcflurry not a meal, then we went to my mums local and just got drunk, had to say goodbye to my friends which was a bit emotional , and came back and sat with my family and had a laugh.
All in all it was an up and down week , lots of people saying that they can see a bit of my Uncle still living in me which was nice to hear. On my last day in northern land, i was dropped off at the station by my brother, who informed me of his joy of getting Olympic tickets... not jealous one bit.. ;)
My day was spent in London with a very close friend Lorna, we had a fab time. We walked miles and miles, i was met by Lorna at Tottenham Hale, i had my bag with all the stuff my Nan and Mother gave me and we went through onto the tube. We went to Trafalgar Square, one of my favourite places in London, well we first went to a nearby Tesco grabbed some sandwhiches and stuff and headed back to the fountains, took a couple of pictures, me standing up on the fountain, Lorna in front of the 2012 Olympic countdown thingy and went sat by the fountain to eat our food, it was windy so we got sprayed a couple of times, i stood up on one of the fountain edges only for a massive gust of wind to fly past me bringing with it what seemed like a bucket of water and completely soaked me. So after all the passers by stopped, laughed and carried on with whatever they were doing, we went for a stroll down to Buckingham Palace, nearly got arrested by climbing on the gates, i wasnt trying to get in, was just seeing how high i could go!
After this, we walked back down to the river, towards Big Ben and we went on the London Eye, i was so scared, it was horrible. Lorna said something and i cackled so load it think people on the bottom could hear me, we got so many dirty looks and i was like Lorna shush we might get kicked out! Little did i know we were already miles high , or to me what seemed like miles, and those unsuspecting tourists were trapped with me for what was probably the longest 30 minutes of their lives.
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Started off me setting off Tuesdsay morning for my 4 hour train journey, I took my holdall with me as i knew that I'd come back with far more than what i left with. I arrived in the afternoon and went straight to my old place of work, it looked pritty much the same, without sounding harsh I'm quite glad i dont work there anymore.
The service the next day went ok, was quite horrible to see most of my family in tears, my uncles' best friend got up and told some stories of what they used to get up to, i just remember thinking to myself 'that's what i pritty much do now' . We all went back to his favorite pub after in Cleveleys, first thing i saw was the cocktail list, so i started making my way up the list starting with a cosmopolitan, last one on my list was something called a Bramble, had gin in it, so i thought I'd give it a miss and start the list again. No wonder my family think im an alcoholic! Later that evening, I had arranged to go back to my sisters' house with my brother and have takeaway, tell you what I aint half missed Northern prices, it was really nice to just spend time with them, plus my niece and nephew, like I live there anyways. Looking forward to when I next visit.
The next day i had arranged to go into town with my Nan, just like we used to. Even though i got drunk the night before i was up at 7am showering, singing away to Shania Twain (only because that was what was on the radio at the time ) only to realise that when i came out of the bathroom, the cleaner had been doing her duties for about half an hour. First time of meeting her bosses step son and thats what she sees!
So i went to meet the Nan, and probably like most , she loves to talk and she loves a gossip. Met up with her and we went for a brew at my old cafe, I quickly ran over to say hello to someone who works on the market , sat back down and my Nan says to me 'have you heard about what shes been up to?' My reaction... 'tell me what ive been missing Nan ;) ' . We went for a walk down the high street, and my Nan said she needed a few bits from Asda, i was like bloody hell last time I was at this Asda i set the alarms off! She asked me if i needed anything for my flat... 300 miles away, I was like it's not like i can get some frozen chips or some milk is it, so we looked around and i realised i needed some show polish, my Nan said she would treat me to some, she then asked if i needed any shower gel and i said actually i do but I'll grab some when im home, she didn't take no for an answer and I came back with 4 bottles of the stuff... Not only did I come back with half of Asda's beauty range, i also came back with some boil in the bag rice and some Cornish potatoes.After that, i went into town again with the Mother and came back with clothes and some plimsolls...
Later that day, after a nap me, my stepdad and the mother were going to a pub in Thornton as he had a pool match, I arranged to meet up with some old friends and we had a nice meal, had a really good catch-up, they said they had truely missed me which was nice to hear, one actually is based like half an hour from me which i never knew. As you do when you catch up with friends, you talk about the old times, mostly of college and what we all got up to, I miss those days, mine and Kyles outrageous flirting, ice skating, me having like 5 different coloured drinks thrown all over me then being rolled around in the mud, so after our meal we went to Mcdonalds, only for a Mcflurry not a meal, then we went to my mums local and just got drunk, had to say goodbye to my friends which was a bit emotional , and came back and sat with my family and had a laugh.
All in all it was an up and down week , lots of people saying that they can see a bit of my Uncle still living in me which was nice to hear. On my last day in northern land, i was dropped off at the station by my brother, who informed me of his joy of getting Olympic tickets... not jealous one bit.. ;)
My day was spent in London with a very close friend Lorna, we had a fab time. We walked miles and miles, i was met by Lorna at Tottenham Hale, i had my bag with all the stuff my Nan and Mother gave me and we went through onto the tube. We went to Trafalgar Square, one of my favourite places in London, well we first went to a nearby Tesco grabbed some sandwhiches and stuff and headed back to the fountains, took a couple of pictures, me standing up on the fountain, Lorna in front of the 2012 Olympic countdown thingy and went sat by the fountain to eat our food, it was windy so we got sprayed a couple of times, i stood up on one of the fountain edges only for a massive gust of wind to fly past me bringing with it what seemed like a bucket of water and completely soaked me. So after all the passers by stopped, laughed and carried on with whatever they were doing, we went for a stroll down to Buckingham Palace, nearly got arrested by climbing on the gates, i wasnt trying to get in, was just seeing how high i could go!
After this, we walked back down to the river, towards Big Ben and we went on the London Eye, i was so scared, it was horrible. Lorna said something and i cackled so load it think people on the bottom could hear me, we got so many dirty looks and i was like Lorna shush we might get kicked out! Little did i know we were already miles high , or to me what seemed like miles, and those unsuspecting tourists were trapped with me for what was probably the longest 30 minutes of their lives.
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