Twas The Night Of Valentines

Twas the night of Valentines, and all through the house. My phone wasn't ringing and I'm wanting to go out. It can be a movie, a play or a place to eat. I just don't wana stay in, watching numerous repeats. My friends all have dates and I say I don't care. But I'm hoping some lovin' will soon be here I'm lonely, bored and just don't know what to do I can't stay in all night, just me and my Playstation 2.

  I go on GooglePlay and download an app find a date for tonight as easy as that. My phones now ringing, wonder who it could be A lady who claims to be called Stephanie A chick from the internet with no pic on her page A sexy voice though, and seems within legal age Says she knows what a man really really wants she says she has a nice arse, and big at her fdont. I guess I shant be leaving now at all Time to prepare for a Valentines booty call.

A shower is taken, I Febreeze the home, Hide any evidence I don't live alone A car then pulls up and parks on my drive My dog so scared he runs off to hide. As it nears to my door, a purse in her hand I pray it's Beyonce, but kinda looks like a man

She steps in with her top showing more than I need to see She stank of cheesy Wotsists , I say oh why me With cards and chocolates and bottles of wine with messages saying oh please be mine We sat on the couch but I wana be rude by kicking her out to go chase some other dude I edge away from her and turn on the tv She whispers in my ear 'make love to me' She piles on top of me, I think I've met my maker If there's any Beyonce in this chick, this broad must have ate her I throw her off as she reaches for my belt Run around screaming won't somebody help.

With a crash my cousin slams open the door He shouts 'get out you silly little whore' , I've finally managed to control the beast we toss her outside and into the street As her car drives off and out of my sight I say to myself I should have had an early night Cupid is the devil and definately no hunk Well the night is still young , time to grt drunk.

'Twas the month after Christmas

'Twas the month after Christmas,
when all through the house,
nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse!

The cookies I'd nibbled,
 the chocolate I'd taste,
at the holiday parties
had gone to my waist.

I remember the marvellous
meals all prepared,
 the gravies and sauces,
 and the beef "nicely rared".

The wine and the stuffing balls
the bread and the cheese,
and the way I NEVER said,
"No, thank you, please."

So - away with the last
 of the sour cream dip.
 Get rid of the fruit cake,
every nibble and chip!

Every last bit of food
that I like must be banished,
  until all of the additional
"ounces" have vanished!

I won't have a Galaxy,
 not even a lick!
I'll want only to chew,
on a celery stick!

I won't have Dominoes,
 or cheesecake or pie,
 I'll munch on a carrot,
and quietly cry.

I'm hungry...
I'm lonesome.
.. and life is a bore!
But isn't that what January is for?

Victims of Nature

As I sit here and read, I come across an article about yet another young guy who has taken his own life. This person didn’t commit suicide because they had lost their job, nor was it because they had just been declared bankrupt. They did it because they were bullied, and they were bullied because they were gay. My mind wanders to a report about a man who was tied to a lamppost and sexually abused before being doused in petrol and set on fire, again because of his sexuality. These news stories focused around homophobia are becoming more and more regular, with a vast percentage of these tragic tales reaching us from America, the land of the free.

Being homosexual, bisexual or even heterosexual isn’t a part of our lives we have any control over, it’s an element of ourselves that is set and which no one can do anything about. It’s not the easiest time of someone’s life, realising your sexuality and growing anxious about a future where you’re potentially labelled as ‘different’. Hearing all these stories definitely doesn’t help. Some of these people must have gone through hell in order for them to feel that the only solution was to end it all. And for what? For falling in love with someone of the same gender? Now obviously we are all biased on this subject as LGBT individuals, but beyond our bubble, there cannot justifiably be claimed to be any reason why discrimination should follow from sexual attraction. It beggars belief that some individuals relentlessly pursue this end and actively make the situation even worse.

It takes an awful lot for a man, or woman, to come to terms with all that, even more so for them to be comfortable enough to ‘come out’. For me, I found it especially difficult, not because my family were homophobic (to this day I haven’t a clue what they actually thought of it all) but because of the society I grew up in. I tried to deny it at first and told myself over and over again that it was just a phase people go through. I’m not a religious person, but I did pray that one day I would wake up ‘normal’. I’m not one to be ashamed of who I am, no-one should be, but I did want to be straight.
Some critics say that homosexuals are a result of upbringing and environment. They theorised that a boy became gay because his father was cold and emotionally detached. Or a girl became a lesbian because she had an aggressive mother. But this theory is neither correct nor proven.

Sometimes, I wonder if it really is a choice, why would any intelligent person choose a way of life that opens them up to hostility, prejudice and discrimination from certain quarters? Isn’t it easier to be straight?

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